Other Hangzhou adventures

Architecture on the lake, but what's that round the corner!?

Forget Where's Wally...Where's Hagen Daazs?

 So here are just a few more snap from my travels around Hangzhou. Not the last post from Hangzhou though as I still need to tell you all about LingYin Temple! But first here's a look at some more pretty things:

As I was walking along the river I saw a beautiful looking building, which I could only assume was of some importance as it could only be reached by passing a huge stone tablet on a stone walkway. I walked the stone slabs to get to the building only to find that, while it was indeed stunning, it also had a dirty little secret. Just round the corner from the grand entrance a western ice cream shop peeked out from behind the shutters. On the plus side, at least it wasn't immediately visible, unlike in some places where lacquered wood panels are bedecked with shiny plastic signs proclaiming the wares of Starbucks and the like - it can be kind of a mood killer...

Keep your chin up, leafy!

From there I kept a-wandering around the lake and saw these amazing trees swan diving into the water, or at least giving it a damn good go. They were held up by what looked at first like large roots growing from the middle of the trunk but turned out to be concrete posts carved to look like part of the tree. If Dali made trees...

I carried on round the lake and watched the reflection of the sun setting over the mountains, as you do, before heading to a little restaurant to find something to eat. I ordered some beef and rice and was soon tucking into some spicy tofu - not even a little bit what I had ordered but hey. It was vigorously unpleasant so I paid my bill and headed, head bowed in shame, to the safe neon glow of KFC. In my defense I was tired, as I'd walked all over the place and...shut up!
I decided it was time to catch a taxi back to meet Sydney, which turned out to be much easier said than done. What seemed like hundreds of taxis streamed past me with their little red lights shining, meaning they were not taking me anywhere.

I finally managed to get one of them to stop for me but when I showed the driver the address on my phone he started saying things that, even though I didn't really understand them, were clearly going in the direction of 'No'. I asked him why not and he said something along the lines of 'mei you dian' which I understood to mean 'There's no time'. I didn't really understand and so, seeing as my phone's battery was about to die and it held the only record of where the hell I was trying to get to, I begged my balls off!
On the way home we randomly drove into an underground car park and stopped next to some huge green shelves that said national grid on them. On the plus side, I didn't get chopped into little pieces and fed to koi carp - it turned out the 'dian' he was talking about electricity, not time. Yup, they're the same word...oh China!

Is it really Google's fault?

Well, I like to think so, yes! 'What is Google's fault?' you say...read on and find out.

My alarm went of as 5am reared its ugly head and I woke Sydney so she could take the first shift in the shower (meaning I could go back to bed for 10 minutes, safe in the knowledge that "boys get ready faster"). I had spent the last week badgering Brian from work about his trip to Huangshan, AKA the Yellow Mountains, in preparation for this trip and roped Serena, one of the local teachers at my school, into helping me to book the bus tickets and sending me the address of the bus stop.
We were all set, just a quick journey on line 9 of the metro and we arrived in good time at...the wrong bus station! Here's where the Google blaming comes in: so, upon typing an address into Google that it doesn't recognise, you get a list of alternatives (unbeknownst to me) one of which, in this case, was a bus stop close, but not close enough, to the one we needed to be at.
We sought help and the poor woman at the ticket desk finally managed to decipher what we were attempting to ask about and directed us to the other bus station - the one we were supposed to be at already...we arrived just in time to be 10 minutes late for our bus, which was happily on its way to Tunxi. The woman at this ticket desk informed us that there were, in fact, no more buses that day and asked is whether we wanted to book tickets for the following day. We went into a two-person huddle to rethink our plans, all the while being watched by a group of locals, who had been gathering to watch the show, so that when an English speaking employee was ushered forth to help the little lost laowais, she was joined by about 10 interested faces. She told us that there was another bus we could catch that day and that we should follow her. It was all a bit unclear really as there was a lot of swapping back and forth between English and Mandarin with occasional contributions from the local audience but we ended up boarding this huge bus that she led us to, with no tickets and no other passengers on the bus and only a vague idea that it was probably going where we wanted to go. We ended up at another bus station in Shanghai, where a man came and all but carried us off that bus and onto another bus. I asked whether it was the bus to Tunxi and received some waving accompanied by "Tunxi, Tunxi, Tunxi...!" So there you have it. A bit of luck and some can do attitude and missing your bus means nothing.

The bus dropped us of in Tunxi and the driver pointed over the road and said something in an encouraging tone of voice. We headed over and asked about buses at the information desk, after having spent 10 minutes furiously tapping symbols into or dictionaries to try and make sense of the timetable on the wall. She pointed us the gate eight and another women ushered is onto the bus after we asked her "zhe ge qu Tongkou ma?" AKA "This one go Tongkou?
We wedged offshore on the back seats, bags on laps, and settled in for the spine-rattling journey, all the while being regarded with curiosity by the other passengers - I guess the art house film I made was big out here too? The ticket was 19元 or £1.90 to you and me and took us to what appeared to be the front of a restaurant on a random road through Tongkou. We got off the bus and called Mr Zhang, or host for the reneging and he sent one of his lackies to pick us up.
Since leaving Shanghai, Sydney has been on the lookout for a memory card for her fancy-ass camera, as she'd forgotten hers (like a boss) and was hoping to find one here. I didn't gold or much hope as we were at the foot of a mountain but when we got to the hostel Mrs Zhang hit the phones and in no time we were loading into her car to go to a tiny shop that looked like someone's kitchen with an assortment of camera accessories in a class case. No luck there though. We went back and had dinner consisting of some of the spiciest green peppers and pork I've ever eaten, smoked ham and salami with mushrooms and tofu and egg fried rice. It was outrageously good and the spiciness definitely helped keep the cold of the mountain out - the red wine helped too.
After dinner we popped outside so Sydney could have a smoke and I could play my flute at the mountain a bit. Of given up smoking about a month before and was still going strong.

The next day began with another 5am start and a lift from Mr Zhang himself to the bus stop. Another 19元, apparently the going rate for all four-wheeled transport, saw us to the entrance to the track up the mountain and another 230元 each saw us on the path. We strolled casually up the stone steps through the trees and marvelled and the stunning sight of the mountain above us. The causal nature of the stroll was not to last...

Why can't the seals at Hangzhou lake swim?

So, here I am, travelling at over 300km an hour on my way back to Shanghai after a weekend (well, Tuesday and Wednesday) in Hangzhou. I realise there's a bit of a gap between what was happening in my last post and this one but if I wait until I'm caught up with everything to write about what's happeneing now, you'll hear about it when I'm 40. Not to worry though, I'll keep dropping in little time capsule catch-ups every now and then to fill you in on what happened in the intervening months.

I spent the last 2 days in Hangzhou, about an hour's train ride south west of Shanghai, looking at temples, strolling around forests and generally getting down to some serious culture soaking up. I arrived in Hangzhou later than I had planned as I got food poisoning the day before I was planning to come - don't drink lukewarm chicken soup from tiny restaurants. It's delicious but deadly! Fortunately I felt better by the next day and headed over to Hongqiao south railway station on the metro.

I booked my tickets using the phrase I had cherry-picked out of the dictionary app on my phone, all the while being watched by an incredulous local, who had decided to join me at the ticket window to enjoy the 'laowai trying to book a train ticket' show.I walked away with a ticket in hand for the 1030 train and possibly a greater sense of acheivement than was necessary after booking a train ticket. Trials of Hercules? Pah! I spoke Chinese to a ticket vendor!

As there was still about an hour before my train, I headed to a restaurant for some early morning chicken and noodles in a restaurant called Tomato Girl and got my breakfast on while the creep anime logo stared me out. I arrived in Hangzhou at about 1130 and was met by Sydney, a teacher who'd trained in our centre for a while before coming to Hangzhou. We grabbed a taxi to her school, located in a shopping centre, adorned with images of Doraemon because of some expo.

The Rooftop, complete with view

The wetlands from the roof

Sydney headed to class and I headed to the roof, armed with my KFC - nothing like a bout of food poisoning to make to revert to the state of 'Wimpy Westerner' when it comes to food. The view from the roof was fantastic. If Bilbo wanted to see mountains again, he had no need of Rivendell, just a couple of escalators to the roof of your friendly neighbourhood shopping centre in hangzhou. From the other side of the roof you could see the wetlands stretching away to the distant highrises of the city but here I was right in amongst the greenery. Admittedly on the roof of a huge shopping complex

Hangzhou West Lake

Old Folky Karaoke

Hangzhou Water Taxi

 From there (not the roof) I caught a taxi to 杭州西湖 or Hangzhou West Lake and walked along the water, feeling greatly relieved at being away from the grey towers, sparkling lights and incessant beeping of Shanghai as I watched Chinese tourist being ferried around the lake in little water taxis and old folks busting out some serious outdoor 'Karafolkie', which is the best word I can think of to describe the singing of traditional Chinese songs being balsted out over the mic at volume by the pensioner brigade. After a little while, and some oggling of old tombs and statues, I came to the Xiling seal society, part of the 'State Protected Intangible Cultural Heritage' - fancy. The place was phenomenal! Winding paths with etchings and carving on any piece of stone that had stayed still long enough. I wandered around the hillside, surrounded by bamboo trees, up and down the little stone steps, occasionally stopping here and there. I had a chat with the man in the museum of seals and managed to discuss the fact that I was from England and he was from Hangzhou, he liked the English, and that being from Cambridge (well kind of, right?) results in being awarded the knowing smile and nod of approval. I also ran into a young shaven headed lad doing some painting with a calligraphy brush and he said he was happy for me to take a quick snap of him in action - go tourism!

From there I headed up the hill to a small courtyard hewn out of the rock of the hill. There was a stunning view over the lake and I got a picture taken while I was there, favouring the work of the friendly artist over my selfie taking abilities. I also encountered the laziest Koy Carp I have ever seen. Apart from the odd twitch here and there, they could have been props. The pace of life out there is a tad slower - even the fish have figured it out.

Here' a look at what I saw:

Su Xiaoxiao

Wu Song's Tomb

Su Xiaoxiao's Tomb

Building in the trees

I can only assume this provides information...cool though!

Look at the nature!

Hangzhou West Lake

 

Casual Hillside Painting

It's Me!

Nature's Grotto

Erm...amazing tower?

Look, I can do a photography!

Lazy fish!

I'll take that one...

Weird bread, cloud cake, bottle of coke - okay the day has begun. Another bus trip with my new best buddy, Jake Chai, and we arrived at headquarters again. This time for a beginners Mandarin lesson. We walked around a lecture theatre pointing at pictures of vegetables and summoning phantom waiters to order what should have been broccoli but probably in fact suggesting that we build a log cabin on the ghost waiter's navel - the tones used in Mandarin are tricky and the same word means something different if you saiy it a different way. For example:

Be very careful if you want to ride someone's horse...

 Destruction of a foreign language done, we waited for our new centre managers to come and collect us to take us to our new centres. When they arrived it was like people picking puppies out of a box at a pet shop. "I'll take this one, he's got bright eyes!"

XuJiaHui centre is lucky enough to be the only centre in Shanghai with actual windows that open, or so I am told. A fact that I am very grateful for. It's on the 8th and 9th floors of an office building overlook the XuJiaHui cathedral and takes up about a third of the 9th floor and the same on the 8th. It is apparently home to over 1,000 students but not at the same time as that would defy the laws of physics more than clown cars (seriously, how do they get all those clowns in the car? It's tiny!)

The furthest left of the three big fellas is my building

The last thing on the list for the day was to find my apartment. I'd spoken to a guy after seeing his ad on Craig's List so I went to check out the apartment and...boom! Found a place to live on my second day in Shanghai.Not bad for a rookie.

Here Comes the New Boss, Same as the Old Boss

My not-so-Eastern Chinese breakfast

The next morning I woke up early and headed out to forage for breakfast, which took the form of some odd variation on the theme of topped toast and what I came to know as 'cloud cake', the softest edible material on this good green (not so green in Shanghai) earth. Oh, and I got a bottle of coke to seal the deal...The West Prevails!

Cloud cake!

After breakfast it was time for another hair raising trip in Jake Chai's death buggy. To distract me from the millimetres between us and other cars I decided to have a chat with Jake and stretch my Mandarin legs a bit. I managed to get that he was called Jake Chai, he thought the English were cool and that we were now friends. What more do you need?

On arriving at head office we enjoyed free dumplings and yoghurt before going over all the fiddly contract stuff and doing warmers and 'get to know you' activities. Turned out one of the group could do pushups on his wrists. If someone says they can do pushups on their wrists, don't ask for a demonstration...it's unpleasant to behold.

I got edited from behind. How embarrassing.

We headed out en masse post contract stuff and had a wander around Shanghai a bit, finishing up on the Bund, the area on the river where you can see the big impressive office buildings in Pudong (the other side of the river).

The Onboarding group - courtesy of Mo. Yes, I am stroking my beard...get over it!

From the grandeur of the Bund, I headed to the Metro and was amused to find that it was the perfect place for folks to have a good stare. Particularly the kids; one young boy stared at us (I was with Ben, the guy doing the boyband-style crouch in the picture above) open-mouthed for about 5 stops. We said hello in Chinese and his parents were saying something along the lines of "Say hello to the foreigners." but the kid was catatonic. It was hilarious. The staring was to become a theme while here in Shanghai. The city might not always be new to me but it seems I'm still new to it.

Cultural Hangups

Coming to China has meant a bit of culture shock, as you would expect. For one thing - smells. China has some serious aromas and odours in the mix. Some of them are good, some of them...

One of the things to contend with has been the language. In the centre of Shanghai you can get away with speaking little or no Chinese, which I think is a bit of a shame, but hey. In ChiFeng, where my hotel was, this was not so much the case. My use of the language was a pretty peaks and troughs affair. From successfully asking for some coathangers for my room, using nothing but Mandarin and charades-quality miming, to accidentally asking a woman in a convenience store to sell me 20 of her cheapest goats - I was aiming for cigarettes but said 'yang' instead of 'yan'. On the plus side the staff at the store seemed entertained as they all stopped working to watch this odd 'laowai' mangle their language.

Not long after that I accidentally tried to buy some poor guy's groceries from him. I said hello and asked how he was and he gestured his bags towards me. I thought he was telling me he wanted to me to buy them so I offered him some money. It was only when his mate came out of the shop as well that I realised I'd been trying to have away with this guy's dinner. At least I was offering a good price...

In general though, my efforts to speak Chinese have been rewarded with many huge grins, laughter, appreciation, bits of advice and, quite often, downright confusion and surprise - not a huge number of westerners actually try to use the language it would seem. So I'm determined to keep on trucking - regardless of the accidental purchasing of farmyard fauna.

If only they'd sold these, I might have got away with it.

The other thing that has been a real adjustment is the price of things over here. Since coming here I've bought a pack of cigarettes for 20元 , which is about £2, and dinner for 7元. The dinner came from a tiny local place near the train station which had a big sign declaring that it had 'passed its hygiene inspection.

Who needs a smiley face?

Dinner consisted of beef and noodles in broth and loads of coriander. I was delicious and, happily, was never seen again - which was a definite concern. The staff were pretty surprised when Derek and I wandered in, especially seeing as Derek is half Cantonese but doesn't speak Mandarin, meaning I ordered for us both. On the way back to the hotel we stopped off at a bakery for dessert and I got short changed. I was just about to say something when I worked out that the difference was about 10p and that if someone felt the need to swipe that, they could go ahead.

'Jake Chai the Driver Guy' and Other Tales

Once the teachers were all gathered on the seats we were sold by sign-holder McGavin that a driver would take us to our hotel and that he would be here imminently. Cue Jake Chai, a man to whom red lights, car horns, road rules and occasionally other cars were mere rumours.

Needless to say our first experience on the roads of Shanghai was an interesting one. I got the definite impression that the rule was that you can do pretty much whatever you like as long as you're sounding your horn, thus cancelling out any element of risk. Much like the 'but I had my blinkers on!' system in the UK.

Having arrived at the hotel about 5 minutes before our shadows, what with the breaking of the speed of light and all, we headed to the check in desk and got our keys. My room was pretty nice, standard economy hotel kind of stuff with extra marble, oh and a mirror at the head of the bed...for doing one's hair in the middle of the night...right!? On that note, I have come across a hotel in the CBD which rent rooms in 4 hour blocks - because sometimes all you need is a nap?

The Sky Rainbow Hotel in ChiFeng, Shanghai

I headed back out into the hall to see how the guys were getting on with their rooms only to find them deep in conversation, not with the cleaners so much as next to them. Duray and Derek were speaking English, the cleaners were speaking Chinese and very little communication was going on.

It turned out that the guys' rooms hadn't been cleaned...like really hadn't been cleaned...and the cleaners were also saying things. So I puffed out my chest like a brave little sparrow and gathered together the scraps of Chinese I had under my belt and threw them at the cleaners like a language snowball...

...One blizzard of incomprehension later, involving much being laughed at by middle-aged ladies in rubber gloves and much laughing myself, and the cleaners had got someone from reception to come upstairs and give the guys keys to different rooms. Peace reigned in the Sky Rainbow Hotel once more...

The Sky Rainbow in daylight, courtesy of Google images

Good Things Come in Fours

With one flight and an unnecessary number of in-flights films under my belt, I strolled off the plane and past the temperature sensors, which confirmed to all the world that I was not a raging ball of feverish disease and was probably okay to let in.

This wasn't my first time in Hong Kong though. Last time I flew to Australia I had a stop over in Hong Kong and that was when I learned that it meant fragrant port (not quite as fragrant now) because of the nice smelly things they used to trade in

So, where was I... Oh yes, I was sitting in the waiting area, attracting interested looks - turns out even in an international airport, a 6ft tall laowai (foreigner) with a tattoo up his arm  is worth a look see. On the plane from Hong Kong to Shanghai I managed to collapse into a slumber-type arrangement for an hour or two - thanks be to whichever deity holds sway  on Dragon Air flights!

I finally got into Shanghai ( 上海 ) just after midday to be met by a very smiley driver with 4 A4 signs, which he shuffled through until we found my name and exchanged huge grins of mutual understanding...that's my name, I'm that person. One down, 4 to go. He gestured me to a line of benches where I joined the masses and tried not to fall asleep and drool on any locals. The rest of the teachers arrived in dribs and drabs and, in the interim I went with Jack, one of the other teachers, to grab my first bite to eat in China. I'd love to tell you that I got myself some exotic dumplings with miscellaneous animal bits hanging out the sides but alas, no. Burger King was my first culinary adventure of the East. Sorry world...

On the plus side, I did discover something that Chinese Burger Kings can offer the world...a quadruple bacon cheese burger! Who needs that many burgers in a burger!? The thought that someone sat down in front of a triple bacon cheeseburger one day and thought "Wait a minute...what if there was...no...could I? Yes! Four burgers!" will keep me going when things get tough...

Of Mice and Men...and Emergency Doors

So then, where to restart my tale of Oriental adventure...still in England is probably best:

My last meal in the UK was a stodgy affair, consisting of incredibly spicy chicken wings and eye-wateringly strong blue cheese sauce, enjoyed with my mum, dad and sister in a holiday in just next to Heathrow airport. An early night and a 5am wake up followed shortly after (all part of my ingenious plan to make sure I would get to sleep on the plane) and I drifted down to the lobby to read over the contract for me new job, because what else would you do at 5am? I blended in quite well with the busninessmen having their breakfast before flying to unknown destinations, apart from the bright green pyjama bottoms - I was in the minority there.

The rest of the day trundled by in a blurry daze of fried breakfasts (I had 2) and family time until it was time for me to depart. I strolled over to the security area, having had a Hollywood montage's worth of photos taken with the assembles rellos, and brandished my two plastic bags full of toiletries at the security guard with an air of well-prepared satisfaction only to be told it was a maximum of one bag per passenger...balls! Cue hurried stuffing of items into one plastic bag.

Time passed...airport type things happened...


On the plane I settled in to my seat, which happened to be the one by the emergency door. "Hello legroom." I thought to myself. But alas, it turned out that the seat had been double booked and the bulk of the inflatable slide inside the door had been given a spot half way up my shins...'goodbye legroom'. Like the stoic passenger that I am, I brushed this off and set my plan into motion:

Plane food:             Devoured.
Headphones:          Playing soothing music.
Blanket:                 Covering everything below the nostrils.
Feet:                      Stuffed inside my pillow to avoid the draft from the emergency door.
Brain:                     Trying to ignore the fact that there is a draft from the emergency door!

Everything was in place for me to...get no more than 10 minutes sleep at a time for the next 15 hours!

Best laid plans of mice and men, eh? Oh well, at least I didn't Lenny-hug-crush any bunnies...

And just where do you think you've been?

So, I haven't really written quite as many posts as I had planned...

It turns out that even this blogging website is blocked in China, they're a thorough bunch to be sure, so I couldn't access it without a VPN (clever internetty thing). Fortunately, in a flash of organisational prowess, I've managed to get my VPN set up after only 2 months!

Anywho, that means I'm going to try and catch up on the past 2 months here in Shanghai..starting roughly at the beginning and giving you the highlights of the culture shocks and embarrassing language failures of long ago.

Enjoy...

DISCLAIMER: I love an ellipsis, so if they aren't your cup of tea.............buckle up!

Out of the Cambridge Man and into the Shire

I can't really say when my journey to China began or will begin. It could have been when I first started learning Mandarin, when I first started looking at jobs in China or maybe when I first set foot on the plane the journey will start in earnest. It could even be that it's beginning right now as I occupy these lines with my thoughts. So, we can agree the commencement is lost in obscurity, but is that such a bad thing? We don't really know how the universe got started - nothing to something is tricky to explain, we don't know why the world decided that learning English would be a great idea (but thanks be that they did), how they make kinder eggs is still a mystery (to me at least) and who the hell really knows where babies come from...

With that in mind, I feel confident in saying that the origins of some pretty good things are unknown and that's got to bode well for my world wide wanderings.

We do know, however, that this blog started on Monday 21st July at 1254 on my first day back in Lincolnshire after having left Cambridge...read into that what you will, as long as you read...